Saturday, December 24, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
C h I r S t M a S ......
Wow! Christmas is all most here..... this year brings with it mixed emotions.....last year as I was all involved with the wonders of the season preparing for the dinner we were going to have with wonderful friends on Christmas day (we serve as church planters and rarely get to go home for holidays) here on the island. I was snuggled in my bed sleeping while visions of Christmas past were filling my dreams ....when all of a sudden I was jarred awake by the shrill ring of my cell phone. I stumbled to retrieve it, I rubbed my eyes and glanced at the clock on the wall .....12:45 am ....who would be calling at this time??? as I answered I heard ....."Aunt Pam?"... "yes", I replied. this is Sheila and mom passed away. I was suddenly very awake ....and my mind rushed to try and think of how can i help I am so far away, "When? How?" along with all the other thinks you ask a time when the world around you is crashing down....does Grandma know?. My niece said she needed to go and would call me back. Needless to say more phone calls were made and tears where shed and shock took over. I was frozen not from physical coldness but from the iciness that freezes you emotionally as I began to walk out the hardest holiday of my life, or so I thought.
So.... here I am facing the anniversary of her death and trying to juggle the ambivalent emotions that are at war in my head. Friends have been supportive....Thank you God for them....however I am still facing the moments and times when there is no one else,,,, it is these moments that God has been carrying me, funny thing - this was my sisters favorite poem -footprints, maybe God is showing me what Sis and I often talked about how it is by His grace that we make it through our hardest times.
Thanks God for that reminder......Well even though Christmas may not be all that this year,,,,, I am going to make it......and if you my friend are struggling you can to.......you see that is really what Christmas is all about .....God's amazing gift of love and grace born for us ......so that we can hope......in Him the one called Emmanuel....... God is with us.
Happy Birthday Jesus! Merry Christmas and may you have a Blessed New Year!
So.... here I am facing the anniversary of her death and trying to juggle the ambivalent emotions that are at war in my head. Friends have been supportive....Thank you God for them....however I am still facing the moments and times when there is no one else,,,, it is these moments that God has been carrying me, funny thing - this was my sisters favorite poem -footprints, maybe God is showing me what Sis and I often talked about how it is by His grace that we make it through our hardest times.
Thanks God for that reminder......Well even though Christmas may not be all that this year,,,,, I am going to make it......and if you my friend are struggling you can to.......you see that is really what Christmas is all about .....God's amazing gift of love and grace born for us ......so that we can hope......in Him the one called Emmanuel....... God is with us.
Happy Birthday Jesus! Merry Christmas and may you have a Blessed New Year!
Monday, November 21, 2011
My Roller Coaster Life
I remember as a child being fascinated by the rides at the amusement park - the most intriguing one was the "WILDCAT" roller coaster. I can remember hearing the screams as people were whipped around as they plummeted down after going so slowly to the crest of the track. Needless to say I was eager to try - my brother was designated to ride with me and as I held his sweaty hand my stomach began to flip - what had I gotten my self into! I still can fill the rush as I write about it, remembering the thought that surely I was going to fall from the ride to my death as I was moved ever which way but loose! What an adventure it was to have my first but not my last ride on the notorious Wildcat.
Many times when this life gets crazy with its ups and downs - I scream out, "get me out of here!" - and it is just in that moment on the roller coaster of life that God steps in and slows the ride and I am able to gather my thoughts - begin to breath with ease - then sense with anticipation the wonder of that journey - it brings back the mystery of what lies ahead and I want to go again. So off I go over the next crest to the depths that my soul can stand - only to have the saga repeated over and over until this roller coaster ride of life is over and I have to leave the amazement park of life.
God is forever faithful and His mercies are new everyday - He holds me in the hallow of His hand and no matter how far the car on my roller coaster life plunges - He is my safety - only with Him can I enjoy the thrill of this life - find my breath - and cry out "one more time papa - just one more time."
Knowing that His love and mercies will guide me and with Him there is no fear just wonderment as to how the ride has been made.
Till next week -Blessings!
Many times when this life gets crazy with its ups and downs - I scream out, "get me out of here!" - and it is just in that moment on the roller coaster of life that God steps in and slows the ride and I am able to gather my thoughts - begin to breath with ease - then sense with anticipation the wonder of that journey - it brings back the mystery of what lies ahead and I want to go again. So off I go over the next crest to the depths that my soul can stand - only to have the saga repeated over and over until this roller coaster ride of life is over and I have to leave the amazement park of life.
God is forever faithful and His mercies are new everyday - He holds me in the hallow of His hand and no matter how far the car on my roller coaster life plunges - He is my safety - only with Him can I enjoy the thrill of this life - find my breath - and cry out "one more time papa - just one more time."
Knowing that His love and mercies will guide me and with Him there is no fear just wonderment as to how the ride has been made.
Till next week -Blessings!
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